Regret

so for some odd reason i've been thinking about things i regret, or don't. i've concluded that there's not anything that i really regret at all. this in turn made me arrive at two possibilities regarding regret.

the first being that not having any regrets means that i am living life the way i want and doing what i want. also, i think having no regrets means that i'm confident that i've made all the right choices. every now and then i think what would have happened if i would have chosen a different school, a different major, or who knows what. however if i had chosen something different i wouldn't be the person i am today. i would not have experienced the same things i have experienced.

the other possibility of having no regrets is a bit dark/gloomy. no regrets may mean that i haven't lived life to the fullest so far. that i haven't experienced everything that i could have experience. not taking chances, but living the safe life, taking the easy path, calculating all options to a decision with the outcomes/consequences carefully weighed, and so on.

or maybe having no regrets is a bit of both. afterall, i have studied abroad in australia. i have gone on trips on a bit of spur of the moment (or little planning involved, ie portland). every now and then i do throw myself into something that will challenge me to become better mentally, physically, etc. however, i also think of what may happen due to my actions. i wonder what people will think if i act a certain way, and thus keep myself in check the majority of the time trying not to react to events/situations/etc, but to logically and carefully consider the different ways to respond (which may not be a bad thing in the end). i just know that once in a while i get the urge to just go wild and take the attitude of 'f-off if you don't like what i'm doing, i'm tired of worrying what you think'. in the end however, i critically think of what i could do that will satisfy the urge, but with the minimum amount of repercussion after doing so.

basically, the conclusion about regret is that it is a double edged sword, acting both in a positive and negative manner. the only difference is the mood you (or me :-P) is in when thinking about regrets.

with that, it's time to do some studying.

(in case anyone's wondering, this topic came about because i've been trying to figure out what i'm going to do once i graduate, and having a hard time reaching a conclusion, thus wondering about a few choices i've made. like i said though, if i had made different choices, i wouldn't be who i am, and i'm pretty sure i wouldn't change that for anything)