wants in life?

read a friends blog entry, which had a question at the bottom of it, so i thought i'd respond to it. her blog is located at http://musings-of-a-demented-mind.blogspot.com/

what do i want from life?

to be honest i fully don't know. in general i know i wanna be happy, but i'm not sure what all exactly makes me happy.

i know that at first i was happy in high school, but towards the end i couldn't wait to get away. i know i was happy when i first got to sdsmt, but again i can't wait to get away. i was happy when i was in AUS, but things seem different when i've gone back to visit. still might be able to be happy there, but don't know for sure.

i do know that i enjoy making other people happy. i enjoy doing little things, big things, almost anything to make a person happy even at my own expense. (i've sometimes wondered tho if i truely enjoy it or if i just fear rejection if i don't make people happy).

i believe i also wanna find someone that makes me happy, but i'm not sure what qualities this person should have. lately i've actually been thinking about the qualities and i come up with a little dilemma (of sorts). is it ok to hold other people to the same standards that you hold yourself? i think i need some more thought before i answer that question. plus i really haven't answered the ? that started this blog.

i want to be able to see the world. there is so much culture everywhere that the vast majority of people never see. heck there's loads of people that are born, raised, and die all in the same place who have never seen a different 'culture' even w/in their own country. heck some don't even see a different 'culture' within their state.

i don't want to be rich, but that doesn't mean i wanna be poor either. i just want to have enough to not worry, but still have to be conscience of how much i spend.

i don't want a big house or an expensive car. those items and similar items are just ways to show off.

i want to have an affect on people, not necessarily a life changing affect, but still an affect nonetheless.

and with that i'm gonna go find something to eat.

'tis the season for stress

who else remembers when the holidays use to be stress-free??? i barely do, think it was when i was probably about 5. alright that's a bit of an exaggeration. they probably started being stressful somewhere in high school when i started using my own money for gifts. now it's only gotten worse (from a college students view). there's the stress of trying to find the perfect gift for people while having enough money to pay for it, stress of trying to keep up w/ professors realizing they hadn't assigned enough hw during the semester to make up the amount of pts they said hw would be, and also that 3rd exam that they forgot about until the week before finals, then there's finals week itself. all this at the same time. oh and lets not forget having to work to have the money to pay for school, rent, and the assumed perfect gifts.

now i know that i'm spoiled and my stress in some of those areas is slightly less, but still people wonder why college kids are stressed.

luckily this is the last year (theoretically) that i'll have finals, holiday shopping, etc to worry about at the same time. next year it should just be my job and the shopping to worry about, here's hoping.

oooo, it is nice tho how some places try to relieve some of the stress. for example on sunday there's free 'breakfast' at 9pm, or is it 7 and ending at 9. eh either way it's free food and a way to take a break from studying and have a chance at winning some prizes.

well time to stop procrastinating, back to studying and then work.