scared

this might be a bit more descriptive than the previous post, but it will still be kinda vague as i'm not going to reveal everything in my life online. only a select few get to know those details.

anyways, as the title says, i am scared. i am scared that i'm becoming someone i really don't want to. i'm scared that altho i feel i have strong morals i won't be able to hold on to them when i should the most.

in part of the cultural to which i live, it is ok and considered more or less innocent to hook up with someone and play (and yes i'm referring to sexually) whenever you feel the need. i'm scared i will begin to think/believe this eventho for me i want and had always anything sexual mean something more than just something physical. this scares me.

after learning some other aspects of people in my life, and some of the events in their lives, and the troubles that arise from them, makes me think that i might be just like them. this scares me.

knowing some of the things i've done when i did and didn't necessarily have the best thinking capability, makes me think i'm not too far off. this really scares me.

not sure where else i was going to go with this as right now i am in a much better mood than i was when i started this entry earlier today. i am still scared of what i've typed, but the severity of the fear has declined to a manageable level.