wee hours reflection

it's rather strange how much self-reflection can get done when wakes up for some odd reason around 2:30-3am for several days in a row. part of me thinks that i'm waking up simply because my body is rested and doesn't need sleep anymore, which could be true since the last couple nights i have gone to bed earlier then i had been. add in that i don't really do anything all too strenuous throughout the day and i have a body that doesn't need much rest (right???)

however, the reflection that goes on at the wee hours of the morning also makes me think/feel otherwise. the reflection of "what am i doing with my life?" "will i be able to find a job?" "what if i don't get a job simply because my gpa wasn't a 3.0?" and even "will i ever run into that special someone or have i already?" amongst other questions (some of which are too private for a blog :-P).

the last one i try not to worry too much about, as i think that once i get some of the other things figured out and have started my life, having an actual routine and all, that i will meet that someone. or who knows, maybe i already do know who that someone is. i know that there's still someone i think a lot about, but for anything to happen the 2 of us would at least need to be on the same continent. (those of you that know me, can probably guess who that is)

with all the other questions, the only real solution is time. i know i just need to keep looking for jobs here in denver and many other locations and my questions will get answered. hopefully they're answered in a positive way, which i try to believe it will, as i go with the whole karma thing. that is that thinking positive, in turn does bring positive things into your life. if nothing else, thinking positive will give the self assurance needed in an interview for a job.

or now an even simpler reason of why i'm waking up so early is insomnia. actually that can be rather complex if you try to go into the reasons for insomnia. then again, maybe not. i do know (at least i think i do) that some insomnia is just caused by stress, which is kinda like what the previous questions i've stated do.

and now that i've just gone in a complete circle with my reasoning, i think i should end this now. laters