busy month

i'm not very good at writing/blogging very often, eh oh well. in the last couple weeks only thing that's really happened is that this past friday i felt like a human sundae as i was covered in whip cream, chocolate, and sprinkles. before your minds get dirty, i was covered because it was my last day at work, and well that's what they like to do to you. after being there for a couple years tho, i was expecting it so i had some silly string with me just to fight back a little. fun times.

looking towards the future now, this month is going to be exciting and scary. i'll be moving back to denver (temporarily or longer depending), going to my grandparents 55th anniversary, and then traveling to Greece/Italy for a couple weeks.

the exciting part is probably pretty obvious. visiting lots of fun and/or new places, and will be able to eat heaps of gelato. what could be more exciting??? ok, well many things, but those things will have to wait until a later date.

one not so exciting thing, however, is the living out of a suitcase (or 2) worth of clothing for the next month. it really won't be so bad because well i lived out of a couple suitcases worth of stuff for 10 months while in AUS. the part i'm trying to figure out is if i can leave enough space in the bags so i can fill them with amazing things i'll find while in Europe. I've already been given a short list from a few people of things to buy, altho i'm mostly going to be looking for stuff for me :-P

the scary part though is after getting back from Europe. i'm going to have to start becoming (dare i say it? i might as well) responsible. not that i'm not a responsible person, i'm just going to have to join the working world. just hoping i find a job i like. there's loads of jobs out there, so i'm pretty sure i'll be able to find it, but that still doesn't take any of the stress away.

anyways, i have lots of people to catch up with before my move in a couple of days, not to mention packing, and a few other chores.

'til next time, laters

summer time desires

it finally feels like summer is here. altho it wouldn't really surprise me if somehow there was another freak snow storm in the not too distant future, as well that's rapid city for ya.

some of the things i'm looking forward to this summer (not counting my trip to Greece/Italy, as that's on a level all on its own) include:
-lightning/thunderstorms
-bbq's
-getting a real tan :-P
-finding a job
->and thus getting my own place, that is assuming i have some money to do so
-camping/hiking/boating or anything of the sort
-and many other things that currently aren't coming to mind

getting a place of my own i think is about the thing i'm looking forward to most, as then i'll be able to decorate it how i'd like. plus then i won't have to have everything i own be in a single room (unless i get a loft or whatnot, but then that's one big room :-P) like it all has been for the past 6 years or so. also, i'll be able to have all my clothes hanging up and such as i may have more than one closet (yes, i have that much clothes). once i do have a place of my own with everything spread around, i'm sure it will seem like i don't own anything. then again that will depend on how big of a place i end up getting, which will also most likely depend on whatever job i end up getting as well. my mind is definately getting ahead of itself.

i have been thinking about how i'd like to decorate and have seen some things i really wanted to buy but restrained myself which was really hard. what worked the best in keeping myself from buying anything is by telling myself that i already won't be able to fit everything into my car. anyways. . .the style (more or less) that i think i'm going to decorate in will be a combo of oriental and modern (if that makes any sense at all), with the main colors being dark red/maroon, black, and then some random lighter colors like orange and yellow (and possibly some green). i dunno, i have some sort of image in my mind, but also know that what i currently imagine will probably change by the time i do get a place.

and with that i'm going to hopefully find something to do that doesn't involve my computer.

DONE!!!!

finally don't with all exams, projects, etc!!!

congrats to everyone else who's done (for the semester, with college, etc).

and now time to go celebrate :-P

finals week stress

k, so both my "finals" are done with. really hoping i at least passed them, or else things would just suck. still have to finish 3 projects tho. all of which are relatively important. one is definitely a lot more important than the others. the one that's most important is my senior paper, which i'm pretty confident that i'll get done. the other two i'm trying to think of how much i need to do to keep the grade that i have. actually i'm probably putting more effort into that than the actual projects at the moment :-P (imagine that). i'll just blame it all on senioritis.

the only thing with that is, if by chance i don't pass all my classes this semester, that means that i wouldn't graduate. it's not that great of a fear, but still there in the back of my head.

i do have mixed feelings about the idea of finally graduating from college after 6 years of being in it. i'm excited and rather scared at the same time. i'm excited to close/end this portion of my life and to take the next step, but that's the scary part. i'm not exactly sure what the next step will consist of (many other college, or even high school grads, probably have the same feelings). i don't have a job lined up. i'm not really sure where i would want to live, or even what i want to do with my degree (meaning don't ask 'cause i have no clue). i think this is mostly scary because growing up i always had a plan of what i was going to do. the only problem was that plan ended at college. ok, well that's a bit of a lie, the plan was to graduate as an EE and get a good job, and well those that know me, know that i am not graduating as an EE.

ok, would actually like to procrastinate a bit more, but well i can't really afford to at the present since i have the 3 remaining projects to get done plus having to work later today, tomorrow, and thursday (great fun let me tell ya :-P). just gotta keep telling myself "almost there, almost there"

Snow Day Observations

There were a couple observations i made friday during the snow day. the first was that i wondered why i hadn't procrastinate another couple days of taking my snow tires off. The other was that eventhough i had the entire day to work on homework and to get various other things done, i still only got about the same amount of stuff done that i would have if i would have had to go to class. Actually i think i may have gotten a little bit less done than i would have. I blame the internal idea all students have when they realize they have a snow day, which is "yea!! i don't have to do anything today" if only that was the case as then i'd have slightly less stuff to get done this week. eh, oh well :-P

my other observations has to due with society/rapid city culture (most likely it's just not here). i find it rather hilarious that altho the entire city (well not entire, read on) can be shut down but yet the bars and the porn shop are still open. granted the porn shop i don't think ever closes, but still, this kinda shows what is important to us as a society doesn't it? i guess there were a few restaurants that did open as well, but those were few and far inbetween. another factor i suppose is that the bars usually don't open until later in the day, and since it stopped snowing by noon and then got into the mid-40's (i think) the snow was becoming slush so it was a little less likely to get stuck, altho quite a few still managed. luckly i wasn't one of them, eventho i was parked in an unplowed parking lot (hehehe, ashley??? :-P).

so yup that means i ventured out later in the day. i started to get "cabin fever" or something similar. i just don't like being at home all that much. anyways, so first had gone to the movie theatre with some others, but sadly found out they were closed as well. so we just went back to one of their houses and watched a little bit of a movie before heading to Dublin (ya for smoke free :-P) to celebrate a friends birthday.

while at Dublin made a couple more observations. The first being that a lot of times i think someone could be my type, i then have to ask myself "are they or are they a foreigner". after talking to a friend, we concluded this was because people from other countries have a bit of a different fashion sense, and that they hold themselves differently. the other observation kinda goes back to society, and was actually made by a norwegian exchange student. he noticed that instead of studying the nights before final exams start we are all out drinking :-P this could be that everyone was tired of being stuck at home, but i'm pretty sure most of the people there would have been drinking if there wasn't a snow day.

and with that i should probably go do some studying.

class canceled due to snow, in may?!?

that's right, my last day of college classes was canceled due to snow/blizzard conditions today. was kinda excited to have a snow day, but i was also looking forward to knowing that today was my last day. oh well, what can you do right?

i am kinda curious how this is going to effect (or is it affect?) things, as lots of classes had things due today, or had exams, etc. the only things that seems logical in my mind is to delay the due dates 'til monday. not sure how the exam thing will work tho, as next week is finals week. eh, not gonna worry about it as, i'm sure the profs will send out an email saying what the plan/changes are.

and with that i'm gonna crawl back into bed, eventho i don't think i'll be able to fall back asleep, it is on the other hand warm :-P

title-less

so most of my recent posts have been serious (more or less). trying to think of a topic that is a bit more, well fun. can't really think of too much. i do remember always thinking some point during my day "hey, i should remember that and type about it later" but well by the time i sit down i forget what it was that i was gonna type about.

i do have senioritis tho, which isn't helping much with everything i need to get done, but oh well. other than graduating in about 10 days or so, other exciting things coming up include the free so called breakfast sunday evening. i do remember it being a bit more entertaining the first couple years, but it's still fun. for those that have never been to it, or know nothing about it, several of the professors and faculty make pancakes, sausage, eggs, etc for students the night before finals week begins. they also have drawings to give out prizes. it's a little sad that i didn't get a prize until i think the spring semester of 06. altho i guess i can be happy i got something useful like a cd case instead of an inflateable field goal (what ever happened to that ashley???)

ok so that might be the only thing that's coming up that i'm remotely excited about, other than when i turn in my last project next friday when i then anticipate going out and celebrating.

well i should either do some hw before heading to bed or just head to bed so i can wake up and do hw before class tomorrow. laters

Neo-Earth = Fun

so i guess i get to see now where everybody is located that looks at my blog. granted i guess i'm assuming that people (i know of 1, and thats about it) actually look or read what i write :-P

sad thing tho is that having the little thing expires in a couple weeks as i'm a poor college student right now and don't really wanna pay for it (at least not quite yet). maybe once i get an actual career (i say career as i have a job right now) i'll be more inclined to pay for it. altho that's assuming i actually see that people do read what i write.

anyways enough procrastination, back to school work. only 11 more days (or so) 'til graduation!!! once again assuming i get my 3 projects completed and don't fail any of my 3 exams. but yeah, laters all

Choices (part 2)

"All the Adam had, all that Caesar could, you have and can do . . . Build, therefore, your own world" ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


Continuing on the idea of choices; more of my thoughts involving choices are as follows (which more or less follow the above quote):


you can choose to see either the good or the bad in things, this includes people, situations, etc.


you can choose what you want in your life. that is things that are "good" influences or those that are "bad" (good and bad are in quotes because well to quote shakespeare "for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so").

you can choose to stay in a life that makes you unhappy, or make the necessary changes to make you happy (this one i guess kinda goes with the previous one).


mostly i guess i just believe that your life is what you make it and what you believe it is. that is if you believe that the world is full of opportunity, beauty, benevolent people, etc. then that is the world that you will see and the world of which you will live in. if on the contrary you see the world full of distrust, hate, and filled with people only worrying about themselves, then that also is the world that you will see and live in. i'm not saying that you have to be naive about all the bad/evil things that happen in the world if you see it full of hope, love, beauty, etc. (and vice versa), as then you get walked all over and used.

maybe it's that i've been able to see a lot of the beauty and such in the world. could be that having been able to travel has aided in this. i dunno, i just know that there have been some people in my life that i want to literally shake (or smack :-P) and tell them that all people are not evil. not all people think solely about themselves. that there are people in the world that wont use them to benefit themself.

anyone agree, disagree, or ??? anything thoughts in general???




----------------

listening to "This is Who We Are" by Cartel

Song Reflection

(kinda copying a friends blog, i'm gonna use song lyrics to blog about)
So the following lyrics are from the song "Can't be Saved" by Senses Fail (which is one of my favorite bands, so there might be more lyrics from them in the future :-P):

"Follow your bliss
It reads on my chest
I know I got it tattooed for a reason
Why can't I just hold it true?

'Cause I'm still crashing all the funerals
Of these people that I never knew

I'm stuck in a coma
Stuck in a neverending sleep
Some day I will wake up
And realize I made up everything

I shut the door and turn all the lights out
And listen to all the songs that the night shouts
They go something like this

So
Go fill up a glass with tonic rocks and gin
And drink yourself to happiness

I'm stuck in a coma
Stuck in a neverending sleep
Some day I will wake up
And realize I made up everything

We can all hang ourselves
(from gold chandeliers)
And drink good bye
To all (al the pain and fears)
Loose lips have sunk this ship
(To a shallow grave)
Washed up upon the rocks

(I won't be saved)
(I won't be saved)

I'm stuck in a coma
Stuck in a neverending sleep
Some day I will wake up
And realize I gave up everything

I won't be saved
(So follow your bliss, it reads on my chest)
I won't be saved
(I know I got it tattooed for a reason)
I won't be saved
(I shut to the door and turn all the lights out)
I won't be saved
(I listen to all the songs that the night shouts)"
--------------------

at first i really didn't care for this song all that much. at least i don't think i did. i do know that i began to like it more after i saw the music video for it. mostly i like it because of the chorus, which to me kinda represents growing up in general and not being true to yourself (ie 'made up everything'). in the end though you realize that by not being yourself, you are actually giving up more than you know.

k so maybe i like it mostly due to the last sentence and how i tend to like anything that deals with the idea of "if you risk nothing, then you risk everything". i really need to find that quote for sure so i can write it down and have it on hand whenever i want/need it.

also have you ever realized that lyrics tend to have a different feeling attached to them when you read them opposed to hearing them in a song???

Choices

Whenever i think of choices, i begin to think of how the choices we make begin to define who we are. Then my mind thinks of movies like Spiderman, X-men, etc., but i'm not going to follow that tangent.

back to choices defining ourselves. actually, i'm not fully sure where i want to go with that. i just believe that in life you have choices you have to make every day. some of the choices are simple, like what to wear (ok, i struggle with that choice some days too :-P). others get repeated daily, like "do i go to class today?" still others are more complicated and may have drastic outcomes.

the choices that's sticking out most in my mind is how people choose to deal with the stresses and problems in their lives. lots of people make "healthy" choices by somehow manipulating the stress/problem into a form that can be useful. Anger for example is great motivation for running, plus while running you can sort things out in your head, at least that's my experience. even more people however seem to make "unhealthy" choices, turning to alcohol and/or drugs. it then seems that these choices are continually made becoming what is coined a "self-defeating behavior", and then it all seems to feed off of itself. that is for example using drugs because you are stressed and then not being hired for a job because there was a required drug test, and then doing drugs and such because of stress of needing to find a job. (i keep using 'seems' because this isn't for sure, its just my opinion from my observations)

maybe i care too much for people, as it makes me sad seeing people do things to themselves that keep them from achieving anything and everything they want or ever dreamed. each person has so much potential, i just hate seeing such potential go to waste.

granted i grew up in a 'loving' family, located in a good/safe area, don't ever remember money (or lack thereof) ever really being an issue, didn't ever get teased (other than from a sibling, but that doesn't count), and never really had anything that traumatic happen in my life. i did, however, have extremely high standards to live up to. i had to be, for lack of a better word, perfect. it was expected of me to be the best or close to the best in school, or in anything i did. it was expected of me to get straight A's. it was expected of me to be the typical All-American Boy. like i said, i was expected to be perfect.

if you don't feel that stress is enough to make a kid want to make "unhealthy" choices, try having that stress and then adding to it the stress of hiding who are are from everyone around you. That is, knowing you are not like most other guys, but playing the charade you are, knowing that if anyone found out you really liked guys, you would be tormented. (well maybe not actually knowing, but at least knowing the teasing that happens to others) this means never expressing my inner thoughts/feelings to anyone, especially not my parent's, and thus leaving a feeling of isolation from everything around. Maybe that's how most people feel in high school, i dunno.

i do know however, that i chose to play the role of the perfect child: graduating as valedictorian, achieving Eagle Scout, excelling in soccer/volleyball. I had chosen to use the role that was thrust upon me as the means of getting away and thus becoming who i am. I don't feel i am done with becoming who i am or who i can be, but i don't think anyone ever fully does.

However, resonating effects of my choice is that i still hide who i am to all except those who have proven are trustworthy. I have told my parents who i am, but beyond that i still only tell them the most basic of basic of what's going on in my life. actually there are only 2 people i trust completely with my inner thoughts/feelings. One is actually from high school, and the other is from college. I trust several more, but not as much as the 2.

in the end i guess what i'm mostly trying to get across is that a person has the choice to take what is thrown at them and use it in a beneficial way or not, and that there is always a time to make a new choice.

my question, then to the reader, is "What choices do you make?"

Patterns

So as an analytical thinker, i usually try to see if i see a pattern in things that i do, or just things that i observe. moreso, i think i try to find patterns in things that i do so i can better understand myself. you'd think understanding your own self would be easy, but i don't think it is.

one pattern i've found (well it might not be an actual pattern, since it's only happened twice), is that when i know i'm going to be moving somewhere in a couple months, i run into someone i start to like a lot. then it just adds stress to me as i neither times i've been sure of if i should try to start something and see how it goes or not. both times i've decided to see where it goes. haven't regretted either of those choices (but like i said in a previous blog i haven't regretted any decisions i've made). one of my co-workers/friends brought up the point that maybe i find someone because sub-consciously i don't want to move. well the first time i had to move, it wasn't sub-conscious of not wanting to leave as i firmly knew i wanted to stay in AUS (still might make it back there, but i'm not worrying too much about that right now). anyways, it could be that i really didn't wanna leave, but i dunno.

other patterns in my life (that i know of) include: waiting until the couple of days before an exam to do the serious studying, stress makes me drink more caffeinated beverages, and ???

actually now i'm trying to decide the difference between a pattern and just plain habit. dictionary.com has one definition of habit as 'an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary' and pattern as 'a combination of qualities, acts, tendencies, etc., forming a consistent or characteristic arrangement'

so maybe they are one in the same. at least to some degree. or maybe it could be said that a pattern eventually becomes a habit. anyone agree/disagree?

hmmm....i thought i had more to say about this, but i guess not.

blah

so i'm hoping the last couple days are not what the rest of the semester is going to be like. that is being at school by 7:30, have class until 3pm, having to be at work at 4, not getting done until 9:30ish, then heading back to school to study/do homework for several hours and then waking up to do it all over again.

guess i can't complain too much though, as this is really the only semester i've had that requires so much work, and i know others who have a full year or more of schedules like what i said. i do believe i really should have some stock in caffeine, as then i'd at least be getting some of my money back :-P

hmmm....what else is there (on a lighter side that is)??? got a funny article about squirrels drowning while crossing a "frozen" river in search of food. bit morbid in a way, but well i guess that's my humor :-P one sad/funny part of the article was that a person accidently killed a whole family of squirrels when he hit the block of ice they were on with his canoe/kayak (or something like that) knocking them all into the water. do feel a bit bad for the guy though, as he was trying to save them, but then 'caused there death.

k well i gotta go get ready for work, and nurse the wound on my neck from my aunts cat trying to reposition itself on my shoulders and failing (so glad he only has back claws). laters

graduation

so like i've mentioned before graduation is quickly approaching. i have started to get a little stressed with everything i need to get done. i think it was actually getting assigned the projects and such instead of just knowing that they were going to get assigned. i'm pretty sure i'll be able to get everything done, i just have to use my time a lot more wisely than i have been using it lately. i do tend to do better when i am busy though, as i know i don't have time to waste.

so a forewarning to any of you that tell me you want to do something: you better not ditch out as my annoyance/anger level is gonna be pretty low.

anyways, i am a bit excited for graduation. it's more of i wanna get done with this school and go someplace completely else. not that this school or city are bad by any means. they just don't have what i need personally. i'm not sure what exactly i'm gonna do once i graduate, but i'm trying to mostly just worry about the things that are slightly more important (ie all the projects i have to get done in order to graduate). i have thought a little about it, and currently my resume is in the career planning office (hopefully getting looked over) and then they'll tell me what to change and such, and then i'll be able to send it out. at least that's my plan with that.

one thing i find rather funny, possibly ironic, is that i told my mom that i don't want a party or anything after graduation. and now i may have to give up my bedroom that weekend for people coming for graduation. not that i mind giving up my room when people visit, but i really didn't want people to visit for my graduation. also i guess there's 4 or so sets of aunts and uncles that are coming. plus my mom is asking what kind of cake i want, what kind of food, etc. all to which i say "i don't want a party". oh well i know she just wants to show she's proud of me and whatnot, but still it's getting rather annoying (and like i said my annoyance level is rather low).

well i think i should go grab some lunch or something to eat before my 1 class today and then start working on the several projects i have.

finally the weekend

oddly enough i was actually quite stressed yesterday. not sure when the last time was that i felt that stressed. i'm just glad that by the time i left campus yesterday it had resided a bit. afterall i was on campus from 7:30-4:30 working on school work, so theoretically i got quite a bit done. still have heaps more to do, but i have a temporary schedule in my head of when i need to be working on things.

for now tho, it's the weekend and i'm gonna enjoy tonight. not sure what exactly i'm gonna do. i might head up to sturgis and watching a live band play (i work w/ one of the people in the band) with some co-workers, just head up to my mom's place in the hills to relax and have some me time, both of the previous options as the house is within 10min of sturgis, or i dunno. i just know that i'm gonna take the next 24hrs or so and just not think about school. ok well that's slightly a lie, but i'm not gonna do anything school related.

oooo, something fun did happen yesterday while working on hw. so a while ago i wrote that i got asked to work at an abercrombie store. well i had said that i might be interested, but that i don't graduate 'til may. i gave them my number, and well they called yesterday to see if i was still interested in the MIT position (i'm assuming it means 'management in training'). i said possibly, but not quite sure. they said they'd call back in May. So if by chance i don't have a job (in my field i'm studying), at least i have that option. that is as long as i'd make as much or more than what i make now as a server. anywho, that's my fun news.

and now i'm off to find something to do other than sit at my computer as i'll be doing plenty of typing and such in the next several weeks preparing all my projects (hopefully learning LaTex isn't too hard :-P)

let the stress begin

so theoretically i think i should be preparing to be pulling out my hair. graduation is in slightly over a month (can't wait!!), but there's still everything with classes going on. so much in fact that i think i have around 5 different projects all due by the end of this month. the weird thing is i'm not fully freaking out about it. part of me really thinks i should be, but the other part is convincing me it's a good thing to be relatively calm. towards the end of the month tho, there may be a whole different story.

maybe i'm not really stressing as i don't feel the projects are really all that big or complicated projects. one really is as it's my senior research project, and well i'm pretty sure if i don't get that done then i probably won't graduate. plus, my project should be done (for the most part) in a couple weeks, as that's when my presentation is (dry run around the 23rd or so with the actual presentation the 25th). i do believe i will be nervous during my presentation considering after my presentation a couple of profs are going to be giving a presentation that continues off of the work that i've done (no pressure there right???). not to mention the presentation is going to be at the regional MAA meeting or whatnot (MAA=Mathematical Association of America for you none engineering/math people).

ok i think i've procrastinated enough for one night (well kinda, i'm sure i'm gonna find other things to get distracted by).

pi day minus .02

so today the MAA is having their usually pi day, which is usually held on march 14th (aka 3/14 or 3.14), but this year it's early. probably due to the fact that if it was held on friday, nobody would really show up since that's when spring break starts. kinda sad this is my last spring break :-( but not really at the same time as i'll be glad once may comes.

anyways, this week has been full of school and work. never fails that teachers always give homework assignments or have exams the week right before spring break. luckily one of my assignments due dates will most likely be pushed back to the day following spring break (all depends if i go buy a pie and bring it in for pi day today).

well class is gonna start soon

HS sports observations

so this weekend was the SD girls state basketball tournament here in Rapid City. My cousin's team from Sioux Falls made it to the championship (against Pierre), which is in a few hours.

Anyways, I've noticed some big differences between the high school sports here verses the high school sports i was in. First, the furthest i ever had to travel for an away game was maybe 2hrs (and that was only about once a season) and then for state tournaments i believe it was the same. Here the bigger schools travel across the state to just play regular season games. I suppose tho, that if you want to have a fair competition between teams, you can't have a high school that is more than double the size of nearby high school play each other. Granted there are some small schools/towns around here that have some pretty awesome teams, but still.

Another thing that also stood out to me was the parents. They seem to really get into it (and not only for the state tourney). I'm not sure if it's just a girls sport thing or if it's a whole SD thing (i haven't been to any boys sporting events). I just know that the parents of my teammates in high school were never too extravagant, or if they were i just completely blocked it out :-P It's not that it's a bad thing, it's just an observation of the difference of where i grew up verses here.

The last thing that kinda goes along with the first is that there are kids that aren't even on the teams that travel to the away games as well. Not as many go to the ones on the other side of the state, but they still drive more then i would have ever been willing to drive to watch my high school play.

At any rate though, the games do make it fun to just people watch, ie to just sit and watch how they react to different things happening out on the court or around them.

well i should find something to eat before heading to the game. i'm hoping that the ticket person only charges me the high school student price again. then again the signs don't say student's k-12, they just say students and i am still a college student :-P

work rant

so just to warn everyone this is mostly just a rant and not much more.

so last night was a UFC fight night and was pay perview (somehow that word doesn't look right but i don't wanna check to see if it's correct, instead i like to write a long message saying i think its mispelled :-P) or something like that, thus no where else really gets it so everyone that wants to watch it (but not pay for it themselves) come to watch it where i work. i really really really dislike working on nights that we have the fights. my reason for severe dislike is the same as when there are football games going on and such, which is that people come in sit for hours (like 3-4), but still only tip the same amount as if they had just been there to eat dinner and that was it. since they are at a table for that amount of time (the 3-4hrs), no-one else can, which means that i'm not getting any new tables.

also do not show up, say there's only a certain amount of you and then more of your friends show up after you've already been sat for a set amount and expect us to be able to magically make space for everyone. this comes to mind because there was a table that had been sat as there was only going to be 8, and it ended up being 20. thats a big difference. if it was just a couple more people, then it's easier to accommodate, but more than doubling the amount of people is just plain ridiculous. luckily tho, the table was in an area that we could move tables (luckily people had just been there to eat so there were a few empty tables).

and now i'm gonna rant on tips for a little. now i know that if you have an empty drink most the night and that if i'm not checking on you then yes i deserve to be stiffed with no tip. however, if a couple people at the table say how awesome of a job i did, then it means that i more likely than not provided the same service to you. tips should also be at least 10 percent, as that is what i am getting taxed on. not only am i getting taxed on 10% of my sales, but i also have to give tip money to the bartenders, hostesses, bus boys, etc. Thus if you stiff me or don't leave 10% tip, I am paying for some of your dinner or whatnot. verbal tips are nice (ie you're very good at what you do), but if you then don't leave a good tip, then it's kinda like a slap in the face. words are not gonna pay bills. one last thing on tips. just because someone else at the table is tipping, doesn't mean that you should not, unless that person is taking into account your bill as well (this is for when tickets are split up).

k, i'm done. mostly i think i needed to rant as i was at work from 5pm-1:40am and the ratio/percentage of my tips to my sales was just slightly over 10%. maybe i just need to work as a waiter in a country where they don't tip, so you actually have an hourly wage worth something. for example Australia :-P

k, thats it, i need to go work on some hw and whatnot.

Regret

so for some odd reason i've been thinking about things i regret, or don't. i've concluded that there's not anything that i really regret at all. this in turn made me arrive at two possibilities regarding regret.

the first being that not having any regrets means that i am living life the way i want and doing what i want. also, i think having no regrets means that i'm confident that i've made all the right choices. every now and then i think what would have happened if i would have chosen a different school, a different major, or who knows what. however if i had chosen something different i wouldn't be the person i am today. i would not have experienced the same things i have experienced.

the other possibility of having no regrets is a bit dark/gloomy. no regrets may mean that i haven't lived life to the fullest so far. that i haven't experienced everything that i could have experience. not taking chances, but living the safe life, taking the easy path, calculating all options to a decision with the outcomes/consequences carefully weighed, and so on.

or maybe having no regrets is a bit of both. afterall, i have studied abroad in australia. i have gone on trips on a bit of spur of the moment (or little planning involved, ie portland). every now and then i do throw myself into something that will challenge me to become better mentally, physically, etc. however, i also think of what may happen due to my actions. i wonder what people will think if i act a certain way, and thus keep myself in check the majority of the time trying not to react to events/situations/etc, but to logically and carefully consider the different ways to respond (which may not be a bad thing in the end). i just know that once in a while i get the urge to just go wild and take the attitude of 'f-off if you don't like what i'm doing, i'm tired of worrying what you think'. in the end however, i critically think of what i could do that will satisfy the urge, but with the minimum amount of repercussion after doing so.

basically, the conclusion about regret is that it is a double edged sword, acting both in a positive and negative manner. the only difference is the mood you (or me :-P) is in when thinking about regrets.

with that, it's time to do some studying.

(in case anyone's wondering, this topic came about because i've been trying to figure out what i'm going to do once i graduate, and having a hard time reaching a conclusion, thus wondering about a few choices i've made. like i said though, if i had made different choices, i wouldn't be who i am, and i'm pretty sure i wouldn't change that for anything)